Overthinking!

Being alone with just my thoughts is not the best to be when you’re already feeling low. My thoughts aren’t good ones and just make me feel ten times worse than I already do.

I try to remember what my life was like before my depression and anxiety started and its all beginning to fade into the distance. I look back at my photos and see this guy I don’t even recognise anymore. If only we could turn back and start again.

Couldn’t even make the first Head4Health session this morning because I was so anxious. How is it I can push myself enough to get to a football stadium with over 30,000 people now but I can’t even get to a course with only a handful of people in a room? Is it the thought of having to talk openly about my problems to complete strangers or something else? I wish I had the answers.

I’m not sure how many more of these blogs I’m going to do. I thought doing these would’ve helped me in some way but as yet I’ve not really felt any difference in doing them. Maybe change it up and only write about the positive thoughts I have on the day, no matter how small they are. We shall see!

2 responses to “Overthinking!”

  1. It’s understandable that the Head4Health thing would cause more anxiety. With Wolves games you know you’ll be distracted once it starts, and you don’t have to talk about your mental health. Try to remember that not that long ago you were trying to go to see Wolves, and couldn’t. Now you’ve gone multiple times. You will get there with Head4Health. It may take more time, but it will happen. I know it’s hard to believe in yourself right now, or see any progress, but know that others see the progress and believe in you!

    As for these blogs, it’s up to you to decide what is best. If you do decide to stop, I would recommend you get a journal and try to write stuff there. Even if it’s just when you feel like you’re stuck on certain thoughts, and you need to get them out. Even if it’s nonsense. I have multiple journals that randomly have pages just filled with me writing swear words REALLY BIG, and pages where I just took a black crayon and scribbled very forcefully, till the whole page is black. Sometimes you just need to get stuff out. They can also be good for looking back on. When you feel like you haven’t been making progress you can go back to the beginning, and you will see that you have made progress. Sometimes it’s hard to realize it when you’re living it everyday, so the journals can offer a different perspective. Sometimes we don’t realize things are helping till later. Remember to give yourself time. I know it’s hard and frustrating, but this will take time. You didn’t get here overnight, so it will take time to get better….try to remember that and cut yourself slack. You are fighting really hard, and all of us can see that! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comment. I never thought of it like that with the Head4Health thing but that does make alot of sense. I will try again for the next session on Thursday and see how it goes.

      I will continue with the blogs, the only thing that was putting me off was the bad comments I was getting but I can’t let those stop me, these are my thoughts that I write down and at the end of the day they are for me. If it helps others then that is a bonus. A journal is also a very good idea, I might just start one of those too.

      I really appreciate your support, it really does mean a lot to me. Thanks again ❤️

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