My Mental Health Journal

Just wish some understood exactly what it feels like. I hide a lot behind a mask, trying to pretend that things are OK when they’re not.

Trying to put on a brave face but behind closed doors, away from everyone, everything I just sit and cry. I see an occasional comment from someone not believing how I’m feeling, I wish to god they could have a day in my shoes then they would feel differently. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

I drive people away with my constant negativity. I don’t mean to and I wish I could be different, I wish I could just turn this off and make things how they used to be. I’ve sat here alone some days and just screamed, punching my head to get these thoughts out of my head, wanting it to stop. I’ve fought back thoughts of suicide because I know that isn’t the answer even though at times it feels like it’s genuinely the only way out of this mess.

Don’t judge someone going through shit, you honestly have no fucking idea what they are going through. I just wish you understood 😞