My Mental Health Journal

Been a while again since I last wrote in my blog. My head is too mashed up to think clearly lately. Like it’s a pressure cooker waiting to pop because it’s l getting a little too much for me to deal with. I don’t think anyone around me seems to understand just how much this is breaking me apart.

I’ve recently started having some face to face therapy at a place in my town called the Sanctuary Cafe. It’s a place where people can go in and have a chat with a professional about how they are feeling and maybe put them in the right direction for help. I’ve had three sessions now and I’ve been given some useful tips to try, had a book recommend to me, which I got and so far it’s a good read. Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King. It’s very good so far and I’m hoping to get some useful information from it that will help me. We talk about what’s going on in my life, she is comfortable to talk to, I don’t feel any pressure from her and I’m never rushed. She’s been helpful even if recently I’ve ignored some advice and gone against her which has backfired. I won’t go into that because that’s a private matter. I’ve finally had my psychiatric nurse appointment come through to review my medication. Unfortunately I have to wait until November for that so looks like sticking with what I’m taking for now.

Life is a real struggle at the minute, there isn’t really much in the way of positive things going on, well not as far as I’m concerned.

I did however post my mental health story to a mental health group on Facebook called ‘A Problem Shared’ and I got some good feedback from, especially from the guy who runs the group.

There’s so much anger inside me right now. I was never an angry person, I’d always been fairly laid back, wouldn’t let anything get to me. Unfortunately that’s no longer the case. Thoughts of harming myself because all I can think of is stopping all this pain by hurting myself, making things go away, a way out that at the moment feels so much easier than trying to find the strength.

I don’t think I’ll be writing any more of these. Thank you for all that have read my journey. I hope you find the strength to overcome your battles and get back to where you want to be.