My Mental Health Journal

Suffering with mental health can sometimes mean being suffocated with thoughts and emotions that you can’t seem to stop, no matter how hard you try. You get swamped, like everything around you is closing in, squeezing the life out of you. I can’t remember the last time I was truly able to enjoy myself, to have no feelings of wanting to escape, to just want to run away and never return.

I want my life to be different, to wake up every morning knowing I can make a difference. To better myself and to have a purpose. I will be 50 next year. I thought by the time I’m that age I’ll have achieved as much as I could but in truth I’ve not been able to. This mental health has deprived me of so many years of doing things. I should still be in my job as a postie, earning good money, having nice holidays, a new car every so often etc. It’s weird how things change. Now all I want is my own mind back, the old Daz back, the one who could enjoy people’s company and not have to hide away because of feeling so anxious. Maybe once I get that back I can start to move forward again. It’s just that right now I feel like there’s no escape.