I might as well be dead.
My Mental Health Journal
My battles with Mental Health
If this is living…
2 responses to “If this is living…”
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Living is the time you spend with your family. Living is going to Wolves games with your brother. Living is playing with your dogs. Living is the smiles you give your granddaughter (seriously, go watch the video she sent you again!). Right now your depression and anxiety are causing you to see the world through a different, dark light. But those things are still there, and they still matter. They will still be there, and be beautiful again, when you come out of the other side of this. You just need to fight for that future! I know it’s hard, and it hurts, but you need to fight!
You said the other day, after you talked with your wife, that you were going to work on getting help. Have you gotten anywhere with that? You really need to talk with the doctor who is prescribing your antidepressants, if you haven’t, and let them know just how bad things are right now. If you have talked to them, call them and talk to them again. Let them know things are not getting better. Be very open about just how bad things are right now. If you do change your meds, or even the dosage, remember it takes time to work. These types of meds need time to build up in your system.
At some point, if things don’t seem to be improving, you might want to consider inpatient treatment. I know that is not something anyone wants to do, but it can be VERY helpful. Both my mom and I have been on more than one occasion. There is no shame in getting the help you need! Not only will you get a lot of therapy, but they can work on finding the right medication, and the right dosage, while observing how you are reacting to medication. When I went they had regular therapy, group therapy, plus things like art and music therapy. It’s also just a break from the stress of everyday life. I’m not saying you have to go, but if the doctor recommends it please keep an open mind. I can’t express how helpful it can be!
I’m here if you need anything. Please never feel like you’d be bothering me if you were to reach out. I promise you won’t be! ((((HUGE HUGS))))
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Thank you so much for the kindest of words again Christina, they really do mean a lot and always give me the strength to keep fighting and I will do. I know I need to fight this with everything I have in my body. I know there are things out there to live for.
I haven’t made any progress with seeking help outside of my GP but I will be looking into some form of therapy that I’ve been told about, I can’t quite remember what it was called now but a guy on twitter told me about it.
Thank you for always being there for me I am so grateful to you ❤️❤️
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