My Mental Health Journal

Here we are, another day but with the same old crap going on inside my mind that is just crippling me. On my own with just the two dogs and my thoughts to occupy me. Doesn’t help that my cough is still bad and my anxiety is stopping me from going out. I just tried sitting outside in the sunshine but it was no different being out there. I’m tired of thinking too much, wondering if this is ever going to go away.

I tried another workout this morning but really wasn’t feeling it. Pushed on though it though, got angry and maybe that’s what I need to do more of. Got warnings on my watch though telling me to reduce my intensity as my heart rate was going through the roof. Think it went to over 180bpm at one point. I just wish I wasn’t so anxious, I’d go for a walk around the block or something.

I just wonder how much fight I’ve got left in me to keep going. People tell me I’m so strong and I thought I was but then I have days like this and I feel like I’m back to square one.

Only I can get myself out of this mindset, I just wish I knew how.