My Mental Health Journal

So for about a month now I’ve been doing some boxercise workouts at home. I’ve read so much about exercise being good for mental health plus since the first lockdown I’ve not been able to get out and do any exercise because of my anxiety. Also, I’ve wanted to get back in shape and lose some weight, I’ve not put on much but it’s enough for me to not feel comfortable in myself anymore.

I’ve struggled to lose the weight, I’m doing around an hour or so every workout, working up a sweat, burning calories and getting my heart pumping. It’s been disheartening though as every week I weigh myself and find that I’ve not lost anything. No idea what I’d been doing wrong, it’s not like I eat a lot of crap. I then happened to read something about antidepressants and how certain ones, if not all, make you gain weight, is this the reason why I’ve struggled to lose any? Turns out two of the main culprits are ones that I’ve taken and still take now. I can’t win, I take them to improve my mind but then the weight I’ve gained has made me more depressed. Its a vicious circle.

Because I’ve found a new determination to keep going and for the time I’m doing the workouts I am actually enjoying them plus it takes my mind off things, stops me sitting around and overthinking everything. Today I did another workout, really tired afterwards but kept on pushing. Weighed myself this morning and to my surprise I’d lost two pounds. I clenched my fist and congratulated myself on finally losing something. All these workouts aren’t in vain after all. Just losing something as small as two pounds gave me such a lift. It’s given me extra drive to keep doing it and I’m sure I will get back to how I want to be. Seeing that weight loss also briefly improved my mind too. I actually felt like I’d done something that worked for once.

I will keep pushing on, determined to succeed and get through this as best I can 💚