My Mental Health Journal

The past few days have been tough. So physically and mentally tired and a couple of nights ago I’d just had enough. So much so that I honestly wish I wouldn’t have woken up the next day because I’m just so tired of fighting this and getting nowhere. You feel like you’re making a bit of progress but then this thing just comes back off the canvas to deliver a knockout punch and it just floors you again. So tired that your body just hasn’t got the energy to fight any more, wanting to throw in the towel. That’s when all your friends and family, who are in your corner, stop you from giving up.

It was truly overwhelming yesterday when I came back online to see so many messages of support, people I’d never spoken to before had even sent messages offering so much love and support it really did bring a tear to my eye. I never realised so many people cared. I knew my family are always there for me and then to receive all those comments just blew me away. Gave me the lift I needed to keep going, to know I have to keep fighting this, knowing I have the strength from so many people behind me, wanting me to beat this monster, because that’s how I see my depression and anxiety, as a monster.

Later that evening I was on Twitter and noticed a Twitter spaces open for Men’s Mental Health. I joined and started listening. In there were a room of guys openly talking about their own struggles with all kinds mental health issues. Some of the stories they were sharing were heartbreaking but I had nothing but respect and admiration for them for being so brave and so open about their own demons. So much love and support in there from everyone listening in and it was lovely to hear. I wanted to speak about my own story but didn’t quite have the courage to do so on the night but as it’s now set to be a regular thing maybe next time I can share my story.

One thing about all this, you can get through it and get on top of it knowing you have so many people in your corner. Loving and supporting you, from all corners of the globe. I won’t let this monster beat me! 💙