My Mental Health Journal

Every single day living with depression and anxiety is like living the same day over and over again. An endless cycle of the same thoughts running through you mind, fighting with them, trying to overcome them. After a while it drains you, not just mentally but physically too. I can’t just switch off when I go to bed either, my mind just won’t shut down and then that has a knock on effect. I’m so tired the next day, having no energy to keep going. So many thoughts running through my head when I close eyes. Wondering if it will ever end. I just don’t feel like me anymore. I want the old me back and that may sound stupid but I look in the mirror now and I don’t recognise the person looking back at me. I look back at old photos of me looking happy and smiling, looking like I’m actually loving life. I feel like a million miles away from that right now.

I’ve tried so many different types of antidepressants, various types of counselling, some face to face, some phone call therapy but I think my problems run so deep a few sessions just won’t cover it. I don’t think there is enough out to help people with mental health, whether that’s because of funding or what I don’t know. We have to do more. I’m slowly running out of options and I don’t know where to turn next for help.